Here's a subject so racy I can't begin to discuss it on the air. But I'm sure it's something that many of us are going to be wagging our tounges about around the water cooler.....sorry.
Years of smoking and drinking did NOT cause MICHAEL DOUGLAS'S throat cancer. It was something ELSE he put in his mouth that did it.
Namely . . . a woman's NETHER REGIONS.
That's right . . . Michael believes that being a giver of oral pleasure
led to his cancer . . . which was at stage FOUR when it was diagnosed a
few years ago.
He says, quote, "Without wanting to get too specific, this particular
cancer is caused by HPV, which actually comes about from [performing
oral sex on a woman]. I did worry if the stress caused by my son's
incarceration didn't help trigger it.
"But yeah, it's a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer." (HPV stands for "human papillomavirus".)
But Michael adds, quote, "And if you have [HPV], [performing oral sex on a woman] is also the best cure for it."
Michael underwent eight weeks of therapy and radiation, and he's been
cancer-free for more than two years. He says that 95% of the time, this
type of cancer DOESN'T come back.
We should probably note that Michael did NOT say he got HPV from performing on his wife, CATHERINE ZETA-JONES. And Michael was a recognized sex addict in his day.
Since he's all better, perhaps he would even suggest that Catherine has been part of the CURE?
Unfortunately, the idea that MOUTH MAGIC is the solution as well as the cause might not pass the "Human Centipede" test of being 100% medically accurate.
Head and neck surgeon Mahesh Kumar says, quote, "Maybe he thinks that
more exposure to the virus will boost his immune system. But medically,
that just doesn't make sense."
Don't just take my word for it though. Heres an article about it from ABC NEWS.
Oh and BTW, Mr. Douglas; I think I speak for all of us when I say we're glad you're OK!
Six Crazy Things You Can Do With Coke, Other Than Drinking It
The world drinks more than 100 MILLION GALLONS of Coke EVERY DAY. And after more than a hundred years, we've found out a whole bunch of ways to misuse it. Here are six of the best ones, from Homesessive.com.
1. Rust remover. Coke has baking soda in it, along with phosphoric and citric acids. Which basically makes it an industrial-strength cleaner. You can rub it on a chrome car bumper and it'll take the rust spots right off.
2. Pain reliever. You can pour Coke on bee stings
and jellyfish stings to take the pain away. That way no one has to whip
their junk out in public.
3. Fertilizer. Pour a can or two of Coke into your
flower beds once in a while. The acids help break down organic
material, and the sugar attracts microorganisms to enrich the soil. But
you should let the Coke go flat first.
4. Gum remover. When your kids get gum stuck in their hair, soak it in Coke. The gum will slide right off, and you won't have to cut it out.
5. Toilet cleaner. Dump a can of Coke in your toilet
bowl and swish it around. It'll take care of rust, mildew, mold, and
any OTHER kind of stain you might find in there.
6. Odor neutralizer. Coke can supposedly combat SKUNK odor too. If your dog ever gets sprayed, the high acidity in Coke can neutralize the alkaline ingredient in the skunk spray. That's why citrus and tomato juice help too.
Last week, BON JOVI guitarist RICHIE SAMBORA left the band's tour to deal with mysterious "personal issues."
Naturally, there was speculation that he'd fallen off the wagon, but
Richie said he was "well," and just had to deal with "a personal
Well, the "New York Post" claims he IS drinking like crazy again
A so-called "insider" says, quote, "JON [BON JOVI]
has been trying to get rid of him. He drinks constantly and has a
stream of Hollywood bimbos around all the time . . . he really is a hard
partier, and so are the women he hangs out with."
There was also talk that Jon and Richie had a falling out, and that may
have played a role, too . . . assuming Richie didn't consider his
drinking and his bimbos a problem.
The "Post" says Jon's wife Dorothea "urged" Jon to give Richie the boot in order to keep the show free of drugs and alcohol. (However, it's unclear what her stance was on the bimbos.)
These albums are all from the '60s and '70s . . . when
the idea of a "double album" was a little more of a big deal. The list
also avoided LIVE albums, and may have shied away from considering two
albums by the same artist.
Which is maybe why THE WHO'S "Quadrophenia" didn't make the cut.
Off the top of my head, where's "London Calling" by THE CLASH?
Well, a lot of bands have tried covering BEATLES songs over the years, with mixed results.
But Buzzfeed.com put together a list of the all-time WORST Beatles covers.
--Sean Connery's spoken word version of "In My Life" from 1998 tops the list, which also includes Bill Cosby's version of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band", and a cool William Shatner doing a hideous version of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds".
Imagine it's 1987 again . . . and you're grooving to the new PINK FLOYD single "Learning to Fly".
But instead of DAVID GILMOUR'S guitar solo . . . a beat drops, and David busts out a RAP about flying or something.
--Sounds like a HORRIBLE idea right? Well, it almost happened.
--BOB EZRIN co-wrote the song and co-produced the "A Momentary Lapse of Reason" album with David. He was ALL ABOUT the hip-hop craze that was going on in the mid-'80s, and suggested that they incorporate a rap break into the song.
--He tells Spinner.com, quote, "I became fascinated with [rap] in the Afrika Bambaataa days. I'm an early adopter. I actually brought some in when we were doing [the album].
--"I brought [it] to David Gilmour [saying], 'Boy, I think this stuff with a rock beat would be awesome.' He said, 'Oh my God, that would be terrible.' He couldn't believe it. He hated the idea."
--Ezrin seems to acknowledge that it probably wouldn't have worked . . . but he was right. The rap-rock thing would eventually take off, for better or worse.
(--Ezrin is a legit producer. He also co-produced "The Wall", and worked on many ALICE COOPER albums, including "Welcome to My Nightmare". He also produced the KISS album "Destroyer", and LOU REED'S "Berlin".)
(--He's also in the Canadian Music Hall of Fame, if that means anything to you.)
--It should be noted that "A Momentary Lapse of Reason" did include a lot of samples . . . mostly spoken-word clips . . . so in a way, maybe they did kind of take something from early rap.
--Ezrin didn't specify where the rap break would've fit in "Learning to Fly" . . . but Spinner.com suggests it would've replaced David's guitar solo at the 3:50 mark, at the end of the song.
(--But there's a more logical spot. Just over two minutes in, there's a muted, spoken word interlude that lasts about a minute. They could've fit some rhymes into that part . . . although, again, that would have been NOT GOOD.)
A Weatherman Wished a Happy Birthday to "Hugh Janus" . . . Then Couldn't Stop Laughing When He Realized It Was a Prank
If you haven't seen it yet, a weatherman in L.A. named Henry DiCarlo
fell for the oldest prank in the book last week. He was reading
birthday messages submitted by viewers on Wednesday.
--And one of them was for a 10-year-old kid with the first name "Hugh" and the last name "Janus". (--CAREFUL . . . as in "huge anus.") At first, DiCarlo didn't realize it was a prank. But once he did, he couldn't stop laughing.
Maybe I'm being childish....but this made my Monday. Have a great one.