|Posted by Chris Dillon on 3/14/2013 8:36:00 AM.|
Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina was elected yesterday as Pope.
See what we discovered about our new Holy Father with the Top Things We Know About Pope Francis.
--His last name rhymes with "gigolo." And if you laughed at that, congratulations, you're going to HELL!
--He's lived a clean, chaste life. But since he's South American, odds are he has a cousin who sold you weed.
--He has a huge head. Which will make his hat look normal-sized.
--At 76, he adds some much-needed youth and spirit to The Vatican.
--He's now the world's second most powerful virgin, behind Tim Tebow.
--During the conclave, he was cracking the cardinals up by hilariously saying, "No pope for you!" in the Soup Nazi voice.
--He's the only person in South America who never wore a thong to the beach.
--He insists that his private bathroom have pope-pouri.
--He still has that New Pope smell!
~Dillon in the Morning.
|Posted by Chris Dillon on 3/14/2013 6:58:00 AM.|
A GUNS N' ROSES fan was hit in the face by AXL ROSE'S
cordless microphone during a show in Australia over the weekend . . .
and it busted up his mouth. His two front teeth were damaged, he
suffered a cut lip, and his mouth was bleeding.
--The fan . . . a 39-year-old "pest controller" named Darren Wright . .
. says, quote, "With the bright lights and explosions, I couldn't see
anything. The next thing I knew, I was whacked in the mouth. I thought
I had been punched . . .
--"It took a few seconds to realize what was going on. I could feel
bits of teeth in my mouth. Then someone is climbing through my legs to
grab the microphone."
--He doesn't think Axl intended to do it . . . but he still wants
someone to pay to have his teeth fixed, so he's preparing a lawsuit. A
dentist told him it would require months of dental work, which would run
him at least $5,000.
--No one from Guns N' Roses has commented . . . but Wright says a tour
promoter called him to apologize, and offered him a microphone signed by
--That's nice. But Wright says instead of a MEMENTO, he'd rather have
CASH. He says, quote, "In reality, I don't think the microphone is
going to fix my teeth or pay for the dentist. I'm a father of four on a
--Regardless, he's says he doesn't, quote, "harbor any ill-feelings."
(--Here's a photo of this dude showing off his chipped
teeth. He probably deserves SOMETHING for the ordeal . . . but at the
same time, it isn't like his whole mouth is mangled or anything.)
~Dillon in the Morning
|Posted by Dan O'Brien on 3/6/2013 2:21:00 PM.|
|Eric Clapton said in an interview recently, that he is considering calling it a day (as far as touring goes) within a few years.I must admit,the story caught me just a bit off guard..The notion of the great Clapton approaching age 70 set me to ponder the enormous impact the guitar player has had over last the six decades.Whether you love him or hate his music,Eric defined the modern guitar sound!!...The sound that virtually everyone who picks up an electric 6 string emulates,know it or not.If Eric is remembered for one thing it must be the fact that he first married a Gibson Les Paul (with humbucking pickups) to a Marshall amp(JTM45 in a 2x12 combo) channelling that wonderfully robust,harmonically dense overdrive and distortion that we now see as mainstream.The irony was that Eric was trying to imitate the Chicago blues sound of guitarists like Freddy King,Otis Rush and Buddy Guy when he bought the Les Paul,the same guitar that King had on one of his album covers.Almost accidentally, when plugged into the Marshall(a Fender Bassman clone) the thick,beautiful overdrive coupled with a blues style similar to King,Rush and Guy,started a guitar revolution that still reverberates..EVERY guitarist worth his mojo,from Hendrix and Page to Duane Allman,Billy Gibbons and Richie Blackmore raced to keep pace.In 1966 the young Clapton recorded the Bluesbreaker album with John Mayall.It was on this LP that Eric debuted this "new" sound that shook up the world!..Many guitar slingers feel this album is EC's finest and evergreen effort and I must agree.A club player for many years,the "Bluesbreaker sound" to me is still the muse and I probably listen to the record at least a couple times a month, even now...I know every lick by heart but its that "sound" that still gets me!!.....I was going up to a Bruins game a couple of weeks ago with an old college friend and dropped in the Bluesbreaker CD in the car player.My friend had never heard it before and was so taken back by the sheer power of the album, that he vowed to pick it up the very next week..."Dont bother,"I said..."keep it"..I didnt mention I had four other copies,two of which were vinyl! The Bluesbreakers,John Mayall with Eric Clapton,1966....This record changed everything.........Thanks Eric...... ......Dan OBrien WNLC radio....|
|Posted by Chris Dillon on 3/5/2013 2:57:00 PM.|
Q: My wife is a very sentimental, emotional person. She likes to hold on to anything that has some kind of emotional significance. She even has a stack of three old cell phones that she doesn't use anymore.
I told her she needs to erase them, then donate them, because she'll never use them again. But she wants to hold on to them . . . because they all have text messages from her old boyfriends.
Nothing scandalous . . . so she says . . . but should my wife hold on to stuff from old boyfriends when she's married to me? Is it ridiculous that she's holding on to her cell phones because of emotional texts?
A: Damn Gus, this is bizarre. Look, we’re the same age and being that we’re both guys I’m going to be straight with you.
THERE’S A PROBLEM! I need you to listen to me. There is a very good chance that your wife holding on to her old cell phones has nothing to do with schmaltzy texts and EVERYTHING to do with filthy, lowdown, straight on hot jungle love. I mean the kind that’ll make your jaw drop to the ground like the horny wolf on Looney Tunes when he spots the pin-up model.
You need to get your little hands on those phones and comb over em like a silver back gorilla combs her young. Yes, you may feel guilty when you find yourself reading texts that sound like they’re straight out of the "Notebook", but at least you’ll have piece of mind knowing your wife didn’t roll play going "Boogie Nights" with every member of Il Divo.
So get reading and report back!
send your questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org
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