A NEW Email: My Wife Keeps All Her Old Cell Phones . . . Because They Have Texts from Her Old Boyfriends:
Posted by Chris Dillon on 3/5/2013 2:57:00 PM.
Q: My wife is a very sentimental, emotional person. She likes to hold on to anything that has some kind of emotional significance. She even has a stack of three old cell phones that she doesn't use anymore. I told her she needs to erase them, then donate them, because she'll never use them again. But she wants to hold on to them . . . because they all have text messages from her old boyfriends.
Nothing scandalous . . . so she says . . . but should my wife hold on to stuff from old boyfriends when she's married to me? Is it ridiculous that she's holding on to her cell phones because of emotional texts?
A: Damn Gus, this is bizarre. Look, we’re the same age and being that we’re both guys I’m going to be straight with you.
THERE’S A PROBLEM! I need you to listen to me. There is a very good chance that your wife holding on to her old cell phones has nothing to do with schmaltzy texts and EVERYTHING to do with filthy, lowdown, straight on hot jungle love. I mean the kind that’ll make your jaw drop to the ground like the horny wolf on Looney Tunes when he spots the pin-up model.
You need to get your little hands on those phones and comb over em like a silver back gorilla combs her young. Yes, you may feel guilty when you find yourself reading texts that sound like they’re straight out of the "Notebook", but at least you’ll have piece of mind knowing your wife didn’t roll play going "Boogie Nights" with every member of Il Divo.
So get reading and report back!
send your questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org
What Would YOU Do??
Posted by Chris Dillon on 3/5/2013 9:31:00 AM.
An Ad Agency Promoted the New Movie "Dead Man Down" by Letting Unsuspecting People Walk in On a Fake Murder in Progress
Colin Farrell's new crime thriller "Dead Man Down"
opens this Friday. And to promote it, an ad agency in New York pranked
a bunch of people . . . by staging a fake MURDER in an elevator, and
letting them walk in on it.
--When the elevator doors opened, they saw a guy STRANGLING another guy
with a rope, and a lot of them just screamed and ran away. But a
surprising number actually tried to stop it
--And one guy just stood there taking pictures with his cell phone. (--Which makes me a little suspicious that some of these were set up. See if you agree. It's at 1:34
If you thought CLINT EASTWOOD was prone to yelling at furniture before, wait until he hears THIS . . .
64-year-old AEROSMITH singer STEVEN TYLER might be "having relations" with Clint's 19-year-old daughter FRANCESCA. And for those of you who didn't finish high school, that's a 45-YEAR AGE DIFFERENCE!
The two of them showed up together at the Little Door restaurant in Los Angeles, and there are pictures to prove it.
They were supposedly meeting JIM CARREY and RUSSELL SIMMONS there, but still, they were NOT interested in being photographed together.
I hear a source says that a "friend" of Francesca's asked the cameraman to delete the pictures.
To Steven Tyler: "Dude, dude, dude looks like Clint Eastwood!"
Why Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac changed American music
Posted by Dan O'Brien on 2/26/2013 5:18:00 PM.
The original Fleetwood Mac was first and foremost, a super charged blues outfit that boasted three world class guitar slingers.Peter Green,a legend for many players was arguably Britains finest blues players ever(sorry EC),Danny Kirwan,who was nearly Green's equal and Jeremy Spencer who played slide with the fury of the great Elmore James.This high octane blues unit was so good that after their first American tour,Duane Allman decided to leave session work and put a band together...That band was the Allman Brothers Band,calling in brother Gregg,from the west coast to handle vocals and keys. Carlos Santana was so into Green's guitar work that he emulated his stylings..Carlos' favorite Green song was a riveting instrumental called "The Supernatural"....Sound familiar?!One could even stretch a bit to make a case that the "Southern Rock" thang was nothing more than "The Mac" with a twang and a cowboy hat...........More later...Dan O Brien..