Downtown with Michael Douglas...
Posted by Chris Dillon on 6/3/2013 6:49:00 AM.
Here's a subject so racy I can't begin to discuss it on the air. But I'm sure it's something that many of us are going to be wagging our tounges about around the water cooler.....sorry.

Years of smoking and drinking did NOT cause MICHAEL DOUGLAS'S throat cancer.  It was something ELSE he put in his mouth that did it. 

Namely . . . a woman's NETHER REGIONS.

That's right . . . Michael believes that being a giver of oral pleasure led to his cancer . . . which was at stage FOUR when it was diagnosed a few years ago.

He says, quote, "Without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV, which actually comes about from [performing oral sex on a woman].  I did worry if the stress caused by my son's incarceration didn't help trigger it. 

"But yeah, it's a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer."  (HPV stands for "human papillomavirus".)

But Michael adds, quote, "And if you have [HPV], [performing oral sex on a woman] is also the best cure for it." 

Michael underwent eight weeks of therapy and radiation, and he's been cancer-free for more than two years.  He says that 95% of the time, this type of cancer DOESN'T come back.

We should probably note that Michael did NOT say he got HPV from performing on his wife, CATHERINE ZETA-JONES.  And Michael was a recognized sex addict in his day.

Since he's all better, perhaps he would even suggest that Catherine has been part of the CURE? 

Unfortunately, the idea that MOUTH MAGIC is the solution as well as the cause might not pass the "Human Centipede" test of being 100% medically accurate.

Head and neck surgeon Mahesh Kumar says, quote, "Maybe he thinks that more exposure to the virus will boost his immune system.  But medically, that just doesn't make sense."

Don't just take my word for it though. Heres an article about it from ABC NEWS.

Oh and BTW, Mr. Douglas; I think I speak for all of us when I say we're glad you're OK!

Happy Monday!

~Dillon in the Morning.
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